Positive behaviour guidance.

The principle

Children's behaviour is communication. A toddler hitting another child, a four-year-old shouting at an educator, a baby refusing the bottle. All these are messages, often about a feeling that the child can't yet name. Our job is to help them feel safe, name what's happening, and learn another way to handle it next time.

Behaviour guidance is never about shame, punishment or isolating a child in a corner. It is a teaching opportunity, helping children feel safe, name what is happening and learn another way to handle it next time.

Across the 4 rooms

Joeys Room (0–2 years)

Babies and young toddlers don't have impulse control yet. Biting, hitting, grabbing, refusing to share, tantrums, all developmentally normal at this age. The educators redirect, soothe, and use simple words to name what the child seems to be feeling. That made you cross. Hitting hurts. Let me hold your hand.

Jungle Room (2–3 years)

The Jungle age is when language starts catching up with feelings, but only just. We use very short phrases, name feelings out loud, and help children see what's going on with another child. Look at his face. He's sad. What happened? Children this age can begin to apologise meaningfully. Apologies are modelled, not forced.

Star Room (3–4 years)

Children in this room have richer language and the start of empathy. Conflicts get talked through more, often with both children present. What happened? What were you trying to do? How could you do it differently next time? Educators sit with children through these conversations rather than rushing to a verdict.

Rainbow Room (4–6 years)

The oldest children can usually begin to resolve smaller conflicts themselves with educator scaffolding. We teach them words for feelings, scripts for negotiation, and the difference between accidents and choices. By the time they leave for school, most can navigate a disagreement with another child without calling for an adult.

Guidance we avoid

• Time-out chairs or corners as punishment
• Loss of food, snacks or meals
• Loss of outdoor play time
• Public shaming or labelling (calling a child "naughty," "bad," etc.)
• Comparison with other children
• Physical force of any kind, including holding a child against their will except where immediate safety requires it

What we do

• Get down to the child's eye level
• Use a calm voice, even when their behaviour is loud
• Name the feeling we see: You look really angry. What's going on?
• Acknowledge the child's want, even if we can't grant it
• Offer a clear alternative: You can't throw the block. You can throw this ball outside.
• Stay close until the child is calm again
• Talk about what happened, after the storm has passed

When something is harder

Sometimes a child has a stretch of weeks where everything is hard. New baby at home, parents separating, sleep regression, illness, a friend leaving the centre. Educators pay attention and talk with you about what they are seeing. We pay attention to triggers. We may suggest small adjustments to drop-off, to the day's structure, to who's in the room with them.

If a child's behaviour is endangering themselves or others, we'll tell you the same day. We work with you on what's happening at home and at the centre. In rare cases we engage external support (with your consent), through the Inclusion Support Programme or your GP.

What we ask of families

Tell us when something at home has changed. You only need to share enough to help us understand if your child might be carrying something extra that day. The educators can adjust the morning accordingly.

And: trust us. The child you see at pickup, after a long day, is rarely the child we saw all afternoon. Children sometimes save their hardest behaviour for the parent who feels safest. That's not a sign that something has gone wrong. It's often a sign that something has gone right.

Reference documents

This summary reflects our day-to-day practice. The full operational policy with regulatory references is on the Eikoh documents page.